Spilling the Beans on Anxiety

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I usually don’t get too personal on my blog, but recently, I’ve decided to be a bit more transparent with you all on what I’ve been feeling. Growing up, I’ve experienced anxiety here and there and it started with feeling anxious when I would take exams or about to do a big presentation. Even though I’m a pretty outgoing individual and feel comfortable with those scenarios, I do still myself in my head sometimes and my anxiety actually takes over my body.

I explained a little bit on my Instagram, but I’ve recently been feeling unbalanced with my life and confused about my purpose and calling. I love what I do and I am so grateful to be able to express myself creatively in both my blog and other social platforms. However, I’ve been in a weird phase recently and feeling unclear about what I’m doing. I know that people say this is a normal thing to go through and it’s all part of this journey we call life, but my anxiety has reached its peak in the past few weeks.

I have also found myself feeling so overwhelmed that I have mini breakdowns here and there. After speaking with a few of my best friends, we all realize that it’s due to us growing older. Gone are the days where we are just going through life for the sole purpose of doing so. We are now more cautious of our actions and decisions and actually care about our goals and future. I think when it all comes down to it, I want to be able to have a legacy before I leave. I want to impact people and change lives and really want to do something meaningful. I know there’s no clear answer or solution to what I’m feeling and it’ll probably just take some time to get me out of this funk. It’s crazy to think that we have to know exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives because if I’m going to be honest, I truly have no idea.

As a child, we are always asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and I remember my answers always varied. I wanted to be a lot of things and it was never crystal clear of which specific industry I wanted to pursue. All in all, I wanted to express that it’s okay to not know what you want to do or who you are because that’s one of the main purposes of life. It’s all about experimenting and figuring things out along the way. I am asking the universe to make my purpose more clear because as I’ve mentioned, it’s been a pretty rough mental battle and I am hoping to find some clarity soon. If you can relate at all, please advice you have to overcome this phase.