WHY WE NEED TIME ALONE

I’d like to think of myself as an outgoing extrovert but as I’ve become more in tune with who I am at my core, I realized I  have a certain capacity of energy expenditure before I need to recharge. I not only crave alone time but need it as a way to sit in my own mind and silence. Although it can be uncomfortable at times, I’ve learned that there is no stronger relationship than the one I have with myself so I refuse to neglect it.

*Black tank top from REVOLVE NBD

For those who don’t like being alone, I would encourage you to try and shift that mindset. Instead of looking at it as daunting or unpleasant, try to find the root cause of why you feel that way. We sometimes find it easier to surround ourselves with distractions whether that’s with the media/ entertainment, other people’s company or with work. It takes courage to sit by ourselves and get to know ourselves in the way we try to get to know others. And from my own experience, having those honest conversations with myself are the times that I have grown the most.

I know that we are technically still in a pandemic so maybe being alone hasn’t been that difficult, but I think there’s a difference between truly carving out alone time for ourselves (with intention) and just being alone.

WHY WE NEED TIME ALONE

1. It allows us to get to know all of our feelings including our thoughts (both positive and negative), our triggers and insecurities, our unhealed selves (traumas and past) and our emotional state.

2. It helps us to feel our emotions, instead of suppressing them. Remember that once we feel our emotions, we can label them and honor them, but try not to associate your identity with that emotion. For example, if you’re feeling anxious, tell yourself that you are experiencing anxiety, but you are not anxiety. By disassociating yourself with the actual emotion, you can better observe it for what it is, instead of being one with it.

3. It helps us to decide who we really want to be. It’s inevitable for us to self reflect and analyze where we are in our lives, how we show up in the world and if we are living authentically and being true to ourselves while we are alone. If you are not happy with the person that you are today, then alone time is a great way to change your behaviors and actions so they can align with the life you envision.

4. It allows us to step back from the pressure to fit in. Nowadays with social media, it is easy to get caught up with the comparison game and by absorbing so much information from society and others, we can lose ourselves. Our identities can be jeopardized so this relates to the previous tip of analyzing who we are and if it’s aligned with who we want to be.

5. It frees us from the need to please others or put others before our own happiness. When we spend time by ourselves, we can then look at our lives in a bigger picture and see ourselves in a different light. In that analysis, we can better understand how we are using our time and who and what we give our energy to.

6. Following tip 5, being alone also helps us to create boundaries. If there are areas in your life where you feel like you’re not being true to yourself or you are allowing others to affect your values, feelings or overall life, then it’s time to get clear about your boundaries and learn to set them.

7. It allows us to recharge our batteries. We forget that energy is not unlimited. In fact, energy is sacred. As a result, when we give our time and energy to others (whether that’s to people or work), we need to make sure that we then take time to ourselves to recharge.